Our current paper shredder can handle only three pages at a time and throws up (i.e., breaks) when fed staples, CDs, or DVDs. It is very unsatisfying. And as the Mayor of Buffy’s Sunnydale knew, shredding is supposed to be a fulfilling, Zen-like activity:

Mayor: “It’s not working.”
Mr. Trick: “It’s supposed to do something besides shred?”
Mayor: “It’s supposed to cheer me up. Usually, using the shredder gives me a lift. It’s fun.”
Mr. Trick: “And today, you’re not getting the ya-yas?”
Mayor: “No. I guess it’ll take more than this to turn my frown upside down.”

I have a new shredder on order, as I’ve been finding many boxes stuffed full of VIPs (Very Important Papers) in the garage. Three pages at once is just not going to cut it (tee hee).

Who knew there were so many options when considering a paper shredder? There are light duty, medium duty, and heavy duty models. There are various “throat” sizes. You can choose from strip-cutting, cross-cutting, micro-cutting, and more.

And you can spend anywhere from $50 to $2,500 satisfying your shred-lust.

The one I’ve got on order was originally $160, but is currently $30 off with a $50 rebate, and I have a $25 discount card. Before tax, this baby is going to cost me only a bit more than a third of its original price–sweet!

By the way, shredders have a very interesting history, with characters ranging from pasta-makers to anti-Nazi propagandists to Oliver North. Who knew?